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I woke up today with a strange desire to bake. This is strange for many reasons: I don’t know how to bake, I’m trying to eat healthy, and who has time to bake today? And then I looked at the calendar at it made sense. My dear friend Ashley, and one of the most incredible bakers I’ve ever know, passed away 5 years ago today. 

As a Hindu, we believe that a person’s body is temporary. It’s simply a vessel to carry their athma, or their eternal soul. Your soul stays consistent but comes back in different forms in different lifetimes but the goal is to escape samsara, the cycle of death and rebirth, and achieve moksha. Your actions and words is what will dictate whether you are reborn again, and in what form, or whether you are liberated from the cycle and achieve moksha. This ties in to how Hindu funerals are conducted as well as the grieving process. In Hinduism, the body is cremated and then ashes are spread at a sacred body of water or some other place of importance to the person who passed. At the funeral, you wear white, there are prayers conducted asking for liberation of the person’s soul and acceptance of them. You wear white. You share memories. And you pray.

I wasn’t sure if I would make it, or what would come of it, or how it would go, but I knew I wanted to do it. Some days were easier than others, but I did it and learned some lessons along the day. 

Some days, I come home from work and wonder why I even bothered to show up? I could swear that no one noticed my presence, nor would they notice my absence. Or maybe it’s a day where no matter what I do, I keep hitting dead ends or getting blank stares or seem to get criticized for whatever I do, or don’t do. It’s when decisions make no sense or your frustrations seem to fall on deaf ears or no matter how much you try to be transparent and fair, it backfires in your face. It’s days like those that make me wonder why I do what I do. It’s days like those that I go home and I re-evaluate what I’m doing and what I set out to do. 

I have four days left in my NoBloPoMo challenge and I’m really proud of how far I’ve come. It hasn’t always been easy, but I’ve managed to write every day (I consider a day before I go to bed, not necessarily midnight). While my posts have been random, they’ve been getting done and I’m proud that I’ve managed to stay on task and focussed so far. And I’ve been getting it done, even with being out of town and what not. 

A lot of my friends are married and having babies. A lot. How many you ask? Enough that I can tell you about breastfeeding and tongue ties and different sleep training methods and feeding techniques as well as personal parenting styles and bedtime routines. I can change a diaper, I can carry a kid with one hand (leaving the other one free for having a drink), I’m perfecting my raspberries, and I genuinely believe that having a baby/kid fall asleep in your arms or on your chest is one of the best feelings in the world. 

Thanksgiving in the US is usually the reminder that the holidays are here and the end of the year is just around the corner. It’s this time of year that you usually wonder where the time went and also simultaneously wonder how you’re going to get everything done by the end of the year. Before the panic begins, take a moment to pause and reflect on the things that you’re grateful for. After all, when the turkey is done, and the family is back to their respective homes, all you have left is yourself and the thoughts that go through your head. Pay homage to them. 

For most people, the holiday season is a time to get together with your loved ones, eat great food, and be merry as you create new memories for the future. You may see the family who you haven’t seen since last year, and can’t wait to smoosh them up in a huge hug, but you might also see that one relative that you dread seeing because they always give you a hard time about your life choices or maybe they have opinions that fundamentally go against what you believe in. Whatever the case may be, it’s a once-in-awhile type of get together so you bite your tongue, turn a blind eye, and keep the peace.

Maybe it’s time to ruin Thanksgiving.

My favourite part about meeting someone is getting to know them and their story. What are the events that have shaped them? What are they most excited about? What and who are the most important things in the world to them? Their quirks and their strengths and their weaknesses–I can’t get enough.