With the window exit off, I stepped over the fuselage and into my shoes that were strategically placed outside. As I slipped back into them, I stood up, felt the welcome cool breeze and thought, “Whoa. This is SO COOL!” I was standing on the right wing of a Boeing 727, in the middle of the woods, outside of Portland, Oregon. This wasn’t an emergency. There were no commands that were being shouted or screaming panicked guests to corral. I wasn’t in uniform or at work or commuting to work. And the only danger I faced was accidentally falling off the wing because I was more focussed on getting the right angle to capture a photo, and even then, the fall would be 8ft, max, to the ground.
Two Types of Work Days
Some days, I come home from work and wonder why I even bothered to show up? I could swear that no one noticed my presence, nor would they notice my absence. Or maybe it’s a day where no matter what I do, I keep hitting dead ends or getting blank stares or seem to get criticized for whatever I do, or don’t do. It’s when decisions make no sense or your frustrations seem to fall on deaf ears or no matter how much you try to be transparent and fair, it backfires in your face. It’s days like those that make me wonder why I do what I do. It’s days like those that I go home and I re-evaluate what I’m doing and what I set out to do.
Spreading the Joy of Snail Mail
Writing is that loyal love that always makes me feel great, yet I neglect. Whenever I make the time for it, I feel empowered and more creative and genuinely happy. It’s my way of taking all of the thoughts, ideas, and feelings that I have running amuck in my head and getting them out. Then why don’t I do it all the time? I don’t have an answer for that, just excuses.
Last year, I decided to no longer neglect my loyal love and to dedicate more time to writing. I set a stretch goal of writing every single day. And not just jotting down an idea on the Notes section of my phone or scribbling in a journal, but writing to someone. Every. Single. Day. Whether it be a 3 page letter, a post card from a new destination or even a quick hello on hotel stationary, I was going to be writing. To connect with people through prose. To spread the joy only snail mail can provide. To improve my penmanship because even I can’t read it sometimes. To commit to something.
Reigniting My Love for Reading
Reading 1000 books is on my bucket list, number 16 if we’re being specific. As a kid, I used to go to the library almost every week and check out as many books as I could carry. I would read these books late into the night, going into the bathroom for hours under the guise of using the potty when I was secretly just reading. I could finish Book It challenges in a week, easily earning my free personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut. My parents would punish me by taking away my library privileges when I misbehaved–which might be why I was such a good kid. In grade 2, I won a school wide contest for the most pages read in a month, and my school went from Kindergarten to grade 8. I was a bookworm and I loved it.
“Can We Talk?”
I have had more difficult conversations this week than I have had in a long time. Some have turned out better than expected while others really cut me to the core and drained me of my energy. Though some were initiated by my, not all of them were my choice. A few of the difficult conversations from this week were in my professional life, a few were in my personal life, and a few were internal ones that I was having with myself. Here are a few things that I’ve learned to help me have better difficult conversations:
An Insufficient Thank You
One thing has changed since then though. While I do know several people who have served, I’ve met them during civilian times, after their service. As with anyone, their history and the path they traveled on before your paths crossed, is something they carry with them, but it can be easy to separate the two because you never witnessed it. Somehow, somewhere, sometime between then and now, I met someone who is currently serving in the military and through him I’ve learned more about the military, the demands, the details (the ones that can be shared at least) that come with being in the army, which makes Veteran’s Day more personal for me this year. Things like overnight shifts, and missing holidays, and classified information (curiosity might truly be the end of me one day), and upcoming deployments. I always knew those things were real, but to actually hear about them one on one…completely different experience.
Can People Change?
I read somewhere that every cells are replaced in our body every 7 years, so in a way, every 7 years we’re a new person. But are we really? We grow and we change, but how much of that is real change and how much of who we are is the same? Every time I’ve moved, or started a new job, or met a new person, is a new opportunity to redefine myself, to make that first impression. And while we do change, to an extent, through growth and experience, how much do we really change?
Taking Steps Towards Political Change
But yesterday, was a glimmer of hope in a dark room. Yesterday people showed up, they voted, they proved that there is still hope and change is possible. Glass ceilings were broken, there were an INCREDIBLE amount of firsts, and it made me believe that we might just be okay after all.
Gratefully Grounded
7 months ago, I took a special assignment that took me out of the sky and grounded me for a while. I traded in my wings for a clicker and took a special assignment (a temporary assignment) with the Corporate Learning team at work as an Inflight Instructor.
Why would I stop living the glamorous, flexible, freeing lifestyle of a flight attendant to work in a normal, routine, job? For lots of little reasons and one big one: routine.
Chasing Mountain Tops
Though I still don’t consider myself an ‘outdoorsy person’, my friends, my pictures and my membership to REI would disagree. I’m still not the person who will ask you if you want to go hiking this weekend, but when an invitation is extended, I’ll happily accept–with a disclaimer that I’m slow but not a quitter and don’t want to hold you back.